When I was younger, I remember driving with my dad in the mornings and having him turn on the radio. The iconic theme song to NPR’s Morning Edition would always be playing (you can click here to hear a 10 minute loop of the music if you’ve forgotten) and I would beg my dad to turn it off before the people started talking. Sometimes he would listen to the trivia show “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me” and frequently laugh out loud (this was before LOL became a thing). I never understood that kind of humor then (“then” being up until I was 21). It was like listening to a General Conference talk when one of the speakers says something funny you don’t understand that all the adults laugh at, and you laugh anyways because everyone is doing it.
A while ago, I was driving in solidarity listening to the radio. My favorite radio station had recently been converted into a country station, ads were on some stations, Maroon 5 was on the rest (if I had my own radio station, I would never play Maroon 5), and the political talk show hosts who are ever so popular in Utah were berating their liberal callers (I’m talking to you Glenn Beck/Sean Hannity/Rush Limbaugh/Laura Ingraham). I was getting desperate for something to listen to. I turned all the way back into the low 90’s, where no one really listens to anything back there. Settling on 90.1, I tuned in to the most recent edition of “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” and was shocked that I was 1) LOL’ing and 2) listening to the news at the same time and learning something. Admittedly, this is not news that most would find mainstream, but it could come in use at a party in need of talking points. Did you know that:
– The best way to crush a man’s pride is to hold the door open for him (very likely the cause of low self esteem at BYU)(Even funnier, is this picture is AT BYU)
– Dogs always poop aligning themselves North/South (so next time you go out hiking and get lost, you better have a dog and some laxatives)
– The cause of a recent salmonella outbreak in 23 states was due to chickens being kissed by their owners. So next time, don’t take your chicken to tongue town, show affection in other ways like giving it a massage or reading it a bedtime story
– If Miley Cyrus took the place of the wrecking ball she was swinging in on, she would have to be traveling at approximately 316 mph in order to crash into someone’s house. Scientist’s actually concluded that it is clear a human being cannot sustain the characteristics of a wrecking ball without sustaining significant injury (not accounting for how dense Miley Cyrus is)
These have all been scientifically proven. This also proves that these scientists need to find a new line of work.
If I’m driving home at night and don’t want to run the risk of accidentally listening to Katy Parry or some band with a one hit wonder (Do you remember Boys Like Girls/We the Kings/Teddy Geiger/Howie Day/Metro Station/Taylor Hicks/HelloGoodbye/Bowling For Soup/Daniel Powter/ or All Time Low? Neither do most people born after 1995. Anyways, I have discovered that if I want to rely on consistency, I can always go to NPR and count on hearing some smooth Jazz music. Does it make me feel sophisticated? Sure. Do I know anything about Jazz? Nope. But on a long drive home in the silent dark, it hits the spot.
Maybe listening to NPR is a sign of getting old, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, or learn anything either. Just remember not to kiss your chickens.